You know that state you are in when you are a child and pretty much everything is possible? Someone asks you what you want to be when you grow up and, because the sky seems like it’s the limit, you pick the best possible, most awesome thing in the whole world? Like astronaut or cowboy or princess or movie star…or in my case…pirate (post-Disneyland, I thought pirates lives seemed like the most awesome thing in the world). You could do anything, achieve anything, BE anything, accomplish anything.
Then people start telling you that you are unrealistic. I don’t know the exact age, but it happens slowly at first. People will smile sweetly at the crazy whims of a small child, but then at some point, they feel they really must let you know about reality. Reality is harsh. Reality means that sky isn’t really the limit, that there is a much lower rung on the ladder that you could reasonably expect to reach. Only 0.1% of people become astronauts or something like that. There are tests and years of school and more tests and, well, you probably won’t be the one to get to ride in that space ship to the moon, so maybe you should stop and think about doing something a little more practical.
I think that happens at a similar time to being told that Santa Claus is a bunch of hooey made up by retailers to sell more stuff.
Well, like pretty much everyone else in the world, I had a whole lot of years of having the ‘skys the limit’ ideas hammered out of me and I gave up that dream of being a pirate. That was, until I lived in San Francisco. San Francisco is crawling with pirates. Pirates of all types. And for the first time in my post-Santa Claus believing life, I started to see the sky again in my limits. It took my career from sputtering along to taking flight. I could do anything. And I achieved a great deal. I did impossible things all of the time and lived an impossible life. I became an author. I started movements that spread all over the world. I became an in-demand public speaker. I became a thought-leader. A country girl from rural Alberta who was told to be realistic unlocked her innermost unrealistic child again…but being unrealistic was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Years ago I read Tom Kelly’s The Ten Faces of Innovation (totally loved it) where he talks about the Devil’s Advocates as not being a desirable part of any organization. In fact, Kelly see’s the so-called Devil’s Advocate characters as being the biggest potential innovation killers in any organization:
(A) devil’s advocate encourages idea wreckers to assume the most negative possible perspective, one that sees only the downside, the problems, the disasters-in-waiting. Once those floodgates open, they can drown a new initiative in negativity.
I wholeheartedly agree with Kelly. Devil’s Advocates, or those people who like to talk about the downsides and think small, do only harm. Sure, sure. We don’t want to live unrealistically and haphazardly! That would be downright foolish! Or would it? The truth is what a Devil’s Advocate or anyone who tells you that you cannot be an astronaut or pirate or princess or that there is an age to stop believing in Santa Claus is doing is adding an artificial barrier to what you can possibly achieve.
The truth is, reality happens. But it happens very differently than the naysayer thinks it will. The minute I stopped putting false ceilings on my growth, I grew. If you somehow erroneously think you can make a billion dollars in the next year and nobody tells you it is impossible or silly, you will probably make it a good deal further along that road and -hell- maybe even achieve it because you missed that barrier! And if you don’t, you learn. Experience is very different than a naysayer. It gives you lessons…really personal lessons to understand how to do better. Devil’s Advocates are merely projecting their own fears onto you (ask a Devil’s Advocate about their experience in any area they are telling you that you can’t achieve what you want to and I’ll bet 9 times out of 10 that experience will be nil). Nobody that gives you the ‘realistic side’ of things does you any favors. I learnt that way too late in life.
It’s still a struggle for me. I still have plenty of Devil’s Advocates in my life, even when I try to limit it. Hell, I have one that lives inside of my head that I have to keep at bay 24/7. But my mantra is and will always be, “Why not?” because at the end of the day, nobody (who really knows) told me it’s impossible to be an author/speaker/ceo of a successful startup/marathon runner/pirate.
I’m so happy I read this, Tara. You are a wonderful model of what can be accomplished when thinking big and focusing on what’s possible. I also have that voice that questions if I can succeed. Thanks for the reminder to keep that voice in check. If we let that voice takeover our thought process and our actions, we’re doomed before we’ve begun.
What is this about pirates? I mean, really – it’s not all Johnny Depp and Long John Silver, you know. Or, for that matter, Captain Hook.
Great post, Tara. If we listened to the devil’s advocates, we would never have gone to the moon. We would not have electricity. Women would not have the right to vote. Nobody would ever have taken a risk to start a business. And we might still be living in caves. Here’s to the child in all of us.
I completely agree with you. Great post.
Now what do you do with a 5 yr old boy who wants to Be Santa – only, you’re Jewish? If you have a solution for that one, let me know
-s
I loved reading this Tara (read it more than once). Such transparency of the non-conformist and what can eventuate through self-belief is what inspires genuine change… and growth… in all of us. You’re a wonderful person and role model. I am glad to know you.
Dear Santa, this year I would like to be wildly successful beyond anything that I can imagaine. Oh and if I could be happy too that would be nice. Darren.
Wonderful post!
It’s time Santa got one over on the Devil.
Everything is possible. Your post reminds me of this poem by Naomi Shihab Nye where “with sadness, there is something to rub against, a wound to tend with lotion and cloth. When the world falls in around you, you have pieces to pick up, something to hold in your hands, like ticket stubs or change. But Happiness floats…”. It is the difference between proven vs. unproven, hard data over intuition and solid vs. ethereal. Dreams are ethereal as are the people who pursue them.
Totally agree! I’ve said for years, “Impossible is Impossible!” Thanks for the post.
Personally, I do think there’s a time and a place for a naysayer:
1. Early on when an idea is bad or has weaknesses that need to be examined.
2. When you deviate from a plan in a way where the reward doesn’t exceed the potential risk.
If you regard the value of the potential reward as infinite (or some other very high number) then rule #2 will never come into play.
But really, what you are talking about are potential high stakes gambles. You could have 99 failures and 1 high stakes gamble that wipes out the losses incurred from the 99 failures.
I’m really not trying to be discouraging, I’m just suggesting that the person who projects their fears on you has sometimes also learned hard lessons that created those fears. Are all opinions equal? Good question.
@Mark
Who is to say what is a bad or weak idea? I find those who say something is a bad idea or a weak idea is usually projecting their own fears on a subject — and not coming from experience. Not to mention, everyone’s experience is different. So many things that are successful today were said to be ‘bad ideas’ (or stupid or weak) in the beginning. The number of people who told me Twitter was the stupidest thing they’d ever heard of when I used to talk about being excited about it in 2006 was astounding. 99 out of 100 people were ‘the voice of reason’. They are now on twitter and it’s their #1 tool. Same with Facebook, “Who needs another social network? MySpace is unstoppable.” Same with Google for that matter, “Another search engine? Bah. That’s been overdone.”
In the end, failing on a crazy/bad/stupid/lame/weak idea is way more of a win than watching someone else succeed on that crazy/bad/stupid/lame/weak idea you had but were discouraged from trying.
Remember that, in the end, very few naysayers can actually travel into the future and know the answer for certain. It may be bad enough to actually succeed.
@Tara: I think the answer to the question “how to know what is a good or bad idea” certainly varies from situation to situation. In business, it really seems to be a crapshoot in a lot of situations because it’s very difficult to predict when a “me too” service will supplant an existing service, especially in the early days. Pioneering is tricky because you have no history to go on, only hunches, hopes, and observations of what’s missing in the world (and sometimes things are missing for a reason).
I’m thinking more about things like, say, doing a Don Quixote maneuver in front of a speeding transport truck: a person on a horse is EXTREMELY LIKELY to be killed doing that kind of a maneuver, especially if neither you nor the truck driver flinches.
I don’t disagree with your main point that people resist change (due as much to the possibility of success as well as failure). But 1 – 10% of the naysayers may have a valid point to consider, even if you discount it or decide to accept the risk.
One final thought: I’m just offering an alternate point of view. As some people say, your mileage may vary.
Wonderful post Tara! Every entrepreneur should read this.
This week it was announced Canadian Allan Simpson will be inducted into the Canadian Baseball Hall of Fame for starting the publication Baseball America from Kelowna, BC almost 30 yrs ago.
He was an accountant with a passion for baseball, no publishing background and few baseball contacts. Today it’s the “baseball bible” for scouting.
Great to hear about the people that pushed through “impossible”.
Let me me the Devil’s Advocate for a moment…
What about Devil’s Advocates who are rebelling and working against the status quo? They don’t challenge dreams, but challenge the present state-of-affairs and make the suggestion “you can do better”.
Reminds me of MDC / CP+B naming @bogusky “Chief Creative Insurgent“ last year (right before he left) http://shotgunconcepts.com/2010/01/insurgents-in-your-organization/ Sometimes you need people working against you (in a nice way) to show you what you’re possible of doing.
AMEN.