It seemed to me as I browsed through the usually homogeneous magazine covers at my local newsstand this morning that times were changing. The cover of Forbes had a tall, black Jay-Z standing shoulder to shoulder (ish) with a short, white Warren Buffet, proclaiming the two “had more in common than anyone would have expected between a 40-year-old rapper from the Brooklyn projects and the 80-year-old sage of compounded returns.”
Having grown up with an image of grey-haired white men as the wealthy business tycoon, I smiled as I picked up the magazine. This compounded by my recent experience at TechCrunch Disrupt where I walked into a bar with a wonderfully mixed crowd who were all dancing to a live performance of Can’t Touch This by MC Hammer, I thought to myself, “The stereotypes are finally breaking down. Jay-Z and people like him have broken the mould.”
Now, I’m not really so naive as to think that we’ve finally entered some sort of post-racist, post-sexist period of time where stereotypes have completely broken down and people are people and everything is the way it should be. La di da, flowers and rainbows. That would be not only naive, but incredibly daft of me. And I’d be ignoring my own situation.
Jay-Z and MC Hammer and a whole group of people in the music industry spent a whole lot of years fighting really hard to be heard and respected by the powers that be. And I suspect that they would tell you themselves that even now, it hasn’t helped their brethren much. It’s not that stereotypes have gone away…it’s that money trumps those stereotypes. Where one mould is broken, another one has been cast.
One of my personal heroes, Cindy Gallop – who breaks all sorts of moulds wherever she goes – posted an article from the New York Times on Facebook earlier today. She’s been posting a bunch of these and gathering what seems to be pretty decent evidence that there is truly a desired TYPE of entrepreneur to fund.
According to the aforementioned article, this type is:
- Young (20′s)
- Male (preferably single definitely without children)
- Manic (obsessed, driven, visions of grandeur, a bit delusional, etc.)
Which is nicely perpetuated in the mythology around silicon valley in movies and books like The Social Network, Startup.com, Founders at Work and Once You’re Lucky, Twice You’re Good – all glorifying a small sliver of stories about a small sliver of success in the startup world, extrapolating that sliver to speak for the overall mould of success. But it’s only a small sliver, no matter how you slice it. According to more in-depth research that covers a slightly wider sample, successful companies are run by all sorts of types of people.
The truth is, I personally fit the mould in some ways that actually work against me. I’m not in my 20′s, male or without children, but I am a little manic. I have gigantic visions of making the world a better place and I see my ideas and my company driving that. I have a fire in my belly that can’t be snuffed no matter what the naysayers, critics or so-called devil’s advocates say. I admit that I’m a bit arrogant at times (although I’m self-reflective enough that I can step back and admit it). I DO eat stress for breakfast and love the type of schedule and problem solving that push my brain and body to their limits. I definitely don’t flinch. I’m so passionate I’ve dedicated my life to this rather than to making gobs of money, which I could have given my work ethic, education, background and ability to lead. And, yep, I may or may not be a little delusional.
If I had a penis and was 10-15 years younger, there would probably be a movie about me, too. But I’m not. I’m a woman who has been told since she was a young girl that she needs to be quieter, more humble, more demure, more agreeable, more attractive, less outspoken, less ambitious, less aggressive and more ‘woman’-like. I was highly unpopular growing up because I didn’t feel the need to fit a mould. I learnt as soon as I did fit a mould, I was rewarded. I got the academic awards and accolades? I was ostracized + called a show-off. Nobody wanted to be my friend. When I slacked off, dressed pretty and laughed at the boys stupid jokes? I was popular! This didn’t change in adult life, either (don’t even get me started on how dating advice on how a woman ‘should act’ fits into this whole mess). There have been studies that show I wasn’t alone in my experiences. Research has shown that women who negotiate are looked upon negatively:
…men and women get very different responses when they initiate negotiations. Although it may well be true that women often hurt themselves by not trying to negotiate, this study found that women’s reluctance was based on an entirely reasonable and accurate view of how they were likely to be treated if they did. Both men and women were more likely to subtly penalize women who asked for more — the perception was that women who asked for more were “less nice”.
It took me until my late 20′s to figure out that the ‘fitting the mould’ strategy wasn’t going to work for me. That it had actually hurt me. By then I was already a single mom and had lost prime time in my journey. But no matter, I’ve been breaking the mould ever since and benefiting from it.
Of course it is frustrating for women like Cindy and myself to watch the stereotypes perpetuate and young men with half-baked ideas easily get funded [note: when I say 'half-baked', I refer to it not being launched, which is what we are told needs to happen before funding these days, but apparently not] while we struggle. But it doesn’t stop us. There are just more barriers. And dammit, when we reach our goals in spite of the barriers, we will use our stories to lift others who break the mould so that the previous stereotypes will give away.
I have a new goal. Once I change the world this way, I will reinvest that money to change the world in many new ways. And I’ll call my fund Broken Mould Ventures. I hope Cindy joins me. 
Darling, thank you, and I am SO THERE
Excellent post Tara. It seems that in recent times many others are feeling the way you do, shedding their stereotypes and becoming what they desire vs what society expects of them. We are starting to follow our passions which are synchronistically leading us – however bumpy the path may SEEM – to actually ealizing our dreams. What more could you ask of life?
The 37signals folks believe that NOT getting funded can –for many start-ups — be a huge benefit. Their “Bootstrapped, Profitable, & Proud” series features a wide range of businesses with over $1mm in revenue and no funding. They consider it a creative constraint, and of course if a business *is* successful, then it may be much more likely to get funding at a later stage, regardless whether who/what runs it meets the VC-preferred profile.
Not suggesting this is “fair”, but not having the same access to something that others do is not *always* a net disadvantage, given that some of those things may be potentially more harmful paths. Funding is not something I think about, so I do not know the stats, but I know Jason and Davidhh make a pretty compelling case for the fully-bootstrapped (as long as possible, and until you no longer *need* the funding) start-up, especially in tech/web businesses that have so many options.
Brava for this post Tara … it reminds me of when I was in fourth grade and a schoolmate of mine, after we’d been playing with some other kids including a number of boys, told me: “Cathy, you shouldn’t use such big words. Boys don’t like smart girls.”
My mother overheard this and later when my friend had left, she sat me down in the kitchen. I remember the moment so clearly. She looked me dead in the eye and informed me in no uncertain terms that I was never, ever, under any circumstances to compromise my intelligence – for anyone.
I”ll never be able to thank my mother enough for that early encouragement as I know it had a great deal to do with how I continued to grow.
@Kathy
As I said on Cindy’s wall…
“the reality is that I don’t code or design or build complex algorithms, so I need to hire people that do. Which means I need to pay them. I tried the ‘I’ll speak and make money, then give it all over to other people to build this stuff’ for a while, but, well, I bounced rent checks and just about went nuts trying to keep the project moving forward while trying to be a good speaker/consultant.
I think Cindy has the same situation. And in both of our cases, we’ll be incredibly resourceful until our web apps make $$ if we can’t get funding, but it is highly frustrating to watch arrogant young guys with an idea for a ‘feature’ that google could code on a weekend get millions of dollars while we have to struggle.”
So love that the situation for 37 Signals is that they had enough money to build a multi-million dollar application without funding. I wish I could do that, too. Truth is, I don’t have money to sustain me until that point, nor the energy (or time anymore – perhaps 5 years ago?) to build slowly while sustaining a hectic travel/consulting schedule. And I don’t have a penny of savings in the bank and a 17 year-old calling me for money every few weeks.
So lovely that 20-something men without dependents have that freedom (AND get the funding), but I don’t.
@Cathy
I wish my Mom and Dad had been like yours. Instead my Father constantly told me to be humble, my Mom told me I’d have to be less showy to be liked by my peers and, though they both told me from time to time they admired my guts to put myself out there, projected their own fears for me onto me by discouraging certain crazy notions I had growing up. And I had many. I don’t fault them for my own decisions, but they certainly weren’t supportive like your mom.
i think you may be trying to make a valid point but using the wrong example. the “young man with half-baked ideas” skipped 4 grades and graduated university at the age of 18. male or female, they’d invest in you too had you done the same…
@Kathy
37s guys are mostly correct when it comes to startups which basically build end-user applications on a proven platform, like Web. But like Mark Suster said this is not where the true innovation lies, and the really innovative concepts like new platforms and protocols require (a lot) of funding before they may become viable cash-cows.
Aslo, look at all the really big players, such as Google, Facebook, and Amazon — they all needed (a lot) of external money to become what they are. The truth is that, if you wish to really grow, you’ll need external money, and in this industry venture capital is much cheaper and easier to obtain than bank loans. You don’t need external funding if you’re satisfied with small, lifestyle-business, which is what 37s essentially is.
@berislav — I agree, mostly, though I do believe that there is a massive space between tiny and, say, Google where plenty of disruptive businesses can live and at the least, make their founders and their users happy. Many things have changed the world that were not funded… including ideas, songs, books, and companies. Growth is a different story, and it would seem that funding in later stages is necessary for many to scale.
@Tara — I hear you… I am suggesting that you are painting funding as though it is mostly a good thing, if you can get it, and that those who cannot get funded are disadvantaged. But many have said that funding carries a very steep price that — for one who wants to change the world — can involve selling part of your soul. just saying it is not all upside…or that all those getting funding will later see themselves as lucky/privileged. But if it is the only way for the business to have a chance to exist, then I agree with you.
@tara!! dont u see all the people youve inspired and helped.. All of us who are posting have been positively influenced by your kind giving and knowledge. I just finished reading your book and have recommended it to about 9 people close to me. Im really sad to hear things are going as well for u financially as they should be but im sure things will turn around.. Youre too good to be forgotten..
Cheers from Brazil