For nearly two years now, I’ve been part of an amazing event that isn’t widely publicized and is, shockingly (for me, anyway), invite only. It’s invite only because it takes place in women’s kitchens and dining rooms and assumes a good amount of trust and intimacy. This event was christened Comfort Food Club because of the original intent to comfort me after a breakup with a nice meal and conversation in a trusted space. Our conversations are private and our bonds are palpable because of the trust. So this post isn’t going to break that bond of trust, but I do want to bring a question forward that I’ve posed in three cities where CFC has taken place:
Do you have to sacrifice love for greatness? And, if so, what would be your choice?
And yes, I do believe that the sacrifice has to be made especially for women. Statistically, the realm of love and family falls more on the shoulders of women according to research from many sources. According to research by the Boston Consulting Group, the majority of married household responsibilities still fall on the shoulders of working women (and a larger percentage for those with kids). In Why She Buys, author and expert on marketing to women, Bridget Brennan, discusses the fact that more women are delaying marriage in order to get ahead in their careers and focus on themselves. And a special issue of TIME Magazine on the State of the American Woman in October of 2009 uncovered research that showed that even though 40% of women are the primary breadwinner in the household, they are also the primary caregivers in the household.
And it would be all well and fine to suggest that the role of women in family is necessary to the well-being of the family, their community and the world, but it just isn’t really valued. There is much lip-service paid to the importance of family and child-raising, but when we take a look at the way it is treated in North America, money isn’t put into that realm. I can’t find the article, but over a year ago, I read an article by a prominent business success leader (as described in the intro) who said success required sacrifice: time and chutzpah and really prioritizing one’s worklife (if you can recall this article, please let me know). Then Clay Shirky recently wrote a highly controversial post ranting about women and their lack of taking risks. And though I think Clay was partially right (the more risks I take and the more chutzpah I have, the better I’ve done), women just aren’t socialized to be that public and it’s partially because we spend so much time taking care of our private lives.
And then I take a look at the history of women who have achieved what I deem as greatness: changing the world in significant ways. Women throughout history like Joan of Arc, Elizabeth I, Jane Austen, Florence Nightingale and Susan B. Anthony were never married and those who were, like Amelia Earhart, Marie Curie, Indira Ghandi and Katharine Hepburn were very untraditional in their approach to marriage (Amelia Earhart called her marriage a ‘dual control partnership’) and married later on to equally powerful, impressive men. Even our current heroine, Oprah, remains unmarried and focused very much on her career.
And I don’t necessarily conflate business success with greatness, though the two require a similar amount of dedication to one’s goals. That dedication takes a great deal of time and energy – time and energy that most people don’t have after a day of working to get by, then working the second shift at home. Believe me. I’m a single mom and if it weren’t for the help of my family and my son spending many of his early years with other family members (including his father), I wouldn’t have got the leg up on my education and early career I needed to get ahead.
So what is there to choose here? Love or greatness. On one hand, you will have a life partner, someone to lean on and grow old with. Someone to keep you warm at night and share those beautiful moments with – like silently reading together, sharing a crossword or slow dancing in the middle of the street spontaneously. Someone to grow with and share experiences with. Someone you can trust with your deepest desires and secrets and who makes you feel safe and warm even on the coldest winter night. That’s love. Amazing connectedness to one person (and potentially a few little people). On the other hand you take the world on your shoulders. You dedicate your passion, love and energy to many – often to people you don’t even know. You will be told you are doing something futile or, even worse, selfish. You will be told you are wrong. Every day is frustrating and, yet, so rewarding. You connect with many people – but often drift off to sleep alone at night. I think of Spiderman all of the time. He had to do this, right? He had to give up Mary Jane to save the world. Batman had to give up many loves to become the Dark Knight. (and yes, both Batman and Spiderman are obviously men, but they are also fictional) If you are able to be a superhero AND have found the love of your life, rock on. You have a rare experience.
Greatness sounds awful and lonely and like a huge burden. It’s no fun and the hours and pay are bad. You have no guarantee of achieving anything significant in your lifetime. And you certainly never know if what you are doing is 100% right because you have your own idea of justice. Joan of Arc learnt that the hard way. Who in their right mind would choose a path of greatness over love?
Well, I would for one. Not that I don’t think about the love path everyday and envy those who choose it. And when I made that realization, I genuinely mourned letting go of any semblance of normalcy in my life. Whenever I think of dipping my toes into the love pool, I’m reminded that it’s an uncomfortable temperature for me. I can’t help but rant on a first date. I’ve canceled many other dates because I was getting into yet another big project and couldn’t be bothered to dress up. And I’m sure that talking to any number of my exes would bring out stories about the extreme pressure I put on myself and others to meet my ideal of the world. But at the same time, I’m surrounded by amazing people who I love and love me – just not romantically. And I would be miserable on any other path than this one. If I’m not working on something to change the world or talking to somebody about how we should do proceed, I get depressed. I feel lost. Food tastes blah. Colours dull. As soon as I have a purpose, my community of friends and supporters and a path, I come alive. My turn-on is a fire in the belly. My intimacy is a meeting of the minds. And my love is a wide net of compassion and support.
What would you choose?
We all aim for both love and greatness. A small minority of us achieves both. Some, one or the other. But I would suspect that most people eventually achieve neither. So don’t forget them. Extend your compassion and friendship even to those whose luck has failed them and whose efforts have come to nothing. (A butterfly wing flapping, and it could have been us.)
I’m not sure that we have a choice… really. When I live the life I know I’m born for, I thrive. When I compromise to keep “a normal life” I die inside. I’d go on but RAH!
Thanks for a great post and getting me to think about it. At the moment, I think I am amongst the fortunate few. I say that as I think being in love acted as the launching pad for my opportunity to strive for greatness. Last year my hubby (BTW, If anyone had asked me in high school whether I would get married the answer was always an emphatic NO.) got offered a transfer to Costa Rica. I was given a veto as the move would require me to resign from the law firm where I was working.
So after much soul searching I took the plunge and said why not. This has set me off on a path of discovery and learning. I am gradually learning to write and to create websites. So, how has this given me the opportunity to be great? Firstly, there is nothing like having nothing to lose and a great support structure. Secondly, both of us are workaholics. Thirdly, I was able to enter a predominately masculine field and nothing like that gives your ego boost. Finally, I think I have the major advantage of having been born in the late 20th century and having a great deal of kick-ass women start knocking down doors and shattering ceilings ahead of me. So Thank You all!
But I also actually agree with Mia Jane – I am not convinced that we have a choice and when we live the life that is right for us, we thrive. I also think the whole work-life balance thing is a myth – the trick is to find the imbalance that you are happy with.
“the imbalance that you are happy with”
Nice, Trisha. I’m big on vision and purpose and I have my illusions of grandeur, all of which made the first couple of years of parenthood tremendously challenging. It seemed like I had to give up one more life-giving work item every week in order to respond at home. Two kids and eight years later, I’m still not balanced, but I’m finding the imbalance that I’m happy with.
While I come alive at work, I’ve had to rely on will-power and a good bit of grace to finally fall in love with being a family man. As tough as it was, I don’t regret it. And it helps that my wife comes alive as a stay-at-home mom, though now that our kids are in school I want her to work. Is that bad?
I’ve picked love every time. The thing is that love has yet to pick me back.
At least if you pick greatness you have something to show for your efforts later. You can build your own security with the greatness path.
Check out this lovely bit of copy from WebMD:
“While advances in medical care can help women over age 35 have safer pregnancies than in the past, infertility and pregnancy complications for this age group are higher than for younger women. If you have decided to delay having a child, you should understand the risks associated with this so you can take precautions to minimize risks and improve your chances for a healthy pregnancy and child.” http://women.webmd.com/pregnancy-after-35
If I have decided to delay having a child? Sigh. Piffle. Punch. You idiots! If I could have predicted where I’d be today, I would have done it solo ten years ago.
It’s true that many women and men that achieved something that “Changed the World” had to sacrifice love for what they did. It’s not an uncommon scene in the movies to see Men kiss their wifes and kids goodbye to go and be the heroes. I think it’s not only women that sacrifice love life to achieve greatness, men do too. But I guess men not being around is more socially accepted, which doesn’t mean it’s right. I want to be around my family when I get married and have kids and for sure I want to change the world.
There are many creativity theorists that say that a good love life can lead to better results. It’s like being complete and hence you work better and harder. Also Love could be something that meets your needs. Maybe there’s someone out there that wants to achieve greatness too. You maybe can share that, work together yet on different projects and share moments where you reset your brain and get other feelings inside to then continue working. Share a passion is also good, Marie Curie worked with her husband and she achieved greatness there with him. I feel bad when I have nothing great to do, but lately I’ve also found out I feel lonely without a romantic relationship in my life. Can we achieve both to some extent? Label me a dreamer, but I think there’s a way we can.
I get the same feeling of being sort of “depressed” when I’m not doing something that will achieve a change in how people live. I think that if I find a person that will suit to that or even share the passion with me all could work well. Also establishing new fundamentals for our relationships, maybe the classic relationship paradigm won’t work for me or you and we may need to define it differently.
What’s important is happiness. I know you’re achieving a lot and changing the world a lot. I know it when I see a Barcamp in Lima and when I work in growing our local coworking community. When people love the idea about it, I think you’ve done a lot. But all that greatness you’ve achieved and the one you’ll achieve if it fulfills you it’s great and you may not need a relationship right now. If you do need one, remember that you don’t have to follow all the “fundamentals” we have in our brains about it to have a good working and healthy relationship.
I watched Julie & Julia with my wife a few weeks ago. Both women, at least in the way they are portrayed on screen, found Love and Greatness. Rare, perhaps, but appealing.
“I’ve canceled many other dates because I was getting into yet another big project and couldn’t be bothered to dress up.”
This strikes me as odd. Why was it necessary to dress up?
If you’re bringing someone into your life, don’t you want them to meet the real you? I’m not saying the real you is a sloppy dresser, far from it, you’re a fabulous dresser. Just that the real you is accomplished, and that means the occasional deadline and too-busy-to-dress-up.
If you want to find love and greatness, you have to make room for both in your life. You can only do that by including people who appreciate both. Under pressure of an intense project might be exactly the right time to find someone who appreciates that part of your life.
I realize there’s something of a male/female perspective here. The male dating life is less affected by what they wear, more by what they talk about. Also, not everywhere is as casual as the Bay Area. But look beyond the date, look at the relationship horizon. Find people who’s relationship you admire, ask them to tell you how it all started. You’ll find time and time again the same story.
I know people who are passionate about their spouse’s accomplishments, I’m one of them. Dressing up is important, but doing something interesting: much more so.
My only advise: on a date, be great. Be what you love to do.
I disagree. Emphatically.
I’m disappointed that we’re furthering this misconception. Even if this was true in the past (and I believe it probably was), you and I are smack in the middle of a glorious time when the tools and tech exist to enable “getting a message out” without having to leave our families. A time when it’s never been easier and less time-consuming to write a book (imagine doing this on a typewriter!). When we can all make a YouTube video — shoot, edit, and post — in 30 minutes with the most minimal equipment and without training. When it takes about 20 seconds to sign up for Twitter.
It does not take endless all-nighters and travel and heavy social networking rotations to “achieve greatness” unless we equate “greatness” with “lots of people will think we’re awesome”. And I know that is not what you mean.
If we really care about making the world a better place, we’ll realize that whether it matters to our love life or not, air travel is one of the WORST things we can do to this planet. In my opinion, people who are truly achieving real “greatness” are engineer/environmentalists/heroes like Saul Griffith:
“Meanwhile for individuals, to stay at the world’s energy budget at 16 terawatts, while many of the poorest in the world might raise their standard of living to 2,200 watts, everyone now above that level would have to drop down to it. Griffith determined that most of his energy use was coming from air travel, car travel, and the embodied energy of his stuff, along with his diet. Now he drives the speed limit (and he has passed no one in six months), seldom flies, eats meat only once a week, bikes a lot, and buys almost nothing. He’s healthier, eats better, has more time with his family, and the stuff he has he cherishes.”
(from PeakEnergy blog:)
http://peakenergy.blogspot.com/2009/01/saul-griffith-renewistan-and-energy.html
If we must sacrifice love in order to make a real difference in 2010… we’re doin’ it wrong.
@Kathy I agree with you on the travel…I would like to cut back myself. But I have to say…there is nothing like meeting people face to face for great connections. And it isn’t just to have people think I’m awesome (not at all), it is to have their undivided attention as an audience. Many of the conferences I speak at are filled with people who aren’t reading blogs, tweets, etc and have never heard of me nor my ideas. Once they see me in person, they start paying attention. So I continue to travel.
But travel isn’t the biggest reason I make that choice. Dating takes energy. Falling in love takes brainspace. And the reason that I wasn’t doing this in my 20′s and early 30′s is because I was too focused on falling in love and making a nice home and family. Maybe I met the wrong men and maybe I continue to meet the wrong men. To tell you the absolute truth, I haven’t totally closed my heart to the possibility that I will someday meet a person who can only enhance my quest to change the world – someone who isn’t threatened by my drive and is okay with me paying an incredible amount of attention to doing what I love doing. I’d love to have both…really I would. But instead of spending a good amount of time searching for that love, I’m spending it searching for the answers on how to make the world a better place and the ways to do it. I’ve been dating here and there and, man, does it take a lot of time. It also feels like a waste of a lot of time. I am highly envious that you have such an amazing partner who loves and supports you in whatever you are doing. I thought I had that at one point, but it wasn’t right and I spent months in the throes of heartbreak and a good year of putting my life back together to stand on my own two feet (so much of it was wrapped up in him – life, work, hopes, dreams, etc).
As for my son, he has paid the price of his mother’s insane focus. And though he is a good kid who has everything he needs on a basic level from me, I didn’t spend the time to research after school activities and help him with his homework. I think about that a lot – was I completely selfish for choosing my lifestyle when I have a child? Probably. But the difference between me and, say, his father is that I probably bear a good deal more guilt over this fact than he does (though I haven’t had that discussion – he’s also absent from the lives of his other two children).
Anyway…I get what you are saying, but I don’t know if it’s the same thing that I’m saying and, I believe, the real lesson here is that I’m speaking from personal experience and there is no real black or white. It’s been my choice due to my own circumstances.
Thought provoking post!
It’s true that finding the balance is harder for women because love and family, helping the world are part of their view of “greatness” and “success”.
“Women think about power horizontally, Women have a broader view of life and what fulfills them.” said Pattie Sellers of Fortune who interviewed top women in business and she is right.
We need a society that supports families better and I see Europe doing that better than the U.S. is. Full quality of life and taking care of one another is part of greatness.
Also, as someone in their 50′s (who decided as a teenager that I would only have one child and do it very late in life) I have found that there are many phases to a life.
Thus what is “love” or “greatness” can look very different at different phases in life. When I was your age, I felt similar to you about dating, ambition and freedom.but now it looks and feels quite differently.
One can pick a partner and then follow a path with that partner, or one can pick a path and then find a partner that’s on the same (or compatible) path.
It’s not exclusive, it’s just outside the paradigm most people consider.
I know and know of many people (men and women) who could only achieve their heights because they had some one supporting them. Sometimes it means not having a “typical” relationship, but it doesn’t have to mean playing rebel-without-a-cause. And you’d be very surprised what kind of “great” women have very traditional marriages and families.
Your son is a teenager, and I don’t know how long you’ve been a single mom. But GOOD partners support each other so they can achieve greater things, and being a single mom is MUCH harder than the alternative (particular types of situations excluded).
But I think that before those issues can be considered, you need to ask yourself where your definitions of “greatness” and “love” come from. It seems to be a self-serving, narrow definition of greatness and a very shallow, sexist (in some weird amalgamation of both directions of sexism) definition of “love”.
You seem to be speaking of end states rather than process. Quite often people realize they had love only once it’s gone. And they achieve greatness only after the fact (meaning once it’s achieved). But the majority of our lives aren’t spent living with results but in the path that takes us to them.
“Where you’ve been is good and gone, all you keep is the getting there.” (Townes van Zandt)
For me (and this may sound pompous and airy-fairy), I ask the question, “What is the purpose of greatness?” To quote yet another great song (The Kinks):
“All life we work but work is a bore. If life’s for living what’s living for?”
In other words, what is the point of achieving greatness? It seems to me we see it in one of two ways: 1) being recognized for being great, or 2) knowing ourselves we did something great. The latter, I think, is the important one (the first just ego). And in few cases that I can think of, the greatness achieved allowed others to live better lives.
When we think of better lives and “what’s living for?” the answer is usually happiness which, in its highest state, is the product of love. In a sense, the purpose of greatness is love.
When love is a problem, as it is for most of us, I think it’s because our definition of it is very limited and often based on social images of what it is supposed to be. But it covers a broad spectrum and, in our individual lives, always evolving. We often hear people who have been together a long time speak of their love being deeper than when they first met.
It’s interesting that when we hope for love as in a personal relationship with someone, we are usually focused on ourselves. Yet with the love we have for our children, it is focused on them.
I’m not sure what I’m trying to say here other than that if forced to choose I would go with love. I wonder, though, if real greatness isn’t informed by love, thus making love the better choice.
Once again, a truly insightful post on yet another important topic that’s all-too frequently ignored.
Thanks for this!!
Louise
Tara, I was over 40 when I met my husband
and hadn’t dated for *years*. I completely agree with you on the dating thing– it all just seemed too exhausting and I had other places I wanted to put my limited time, energy, and brain bandwidth.
I know how things can appear as a single parent in your 30′s — I still remember it VERY well. But consider where you were 10 years ago — and how different your life is. Consider where you were 5 years ago! I remember where you were just 3 years ago, and look how much things have changed. So, I wouldn’t draw any big conclusions about The Future based on what it seems like at this snapshot in time.
I do understand about face-to-face — you were there in the SXSW talk where I asked why we were all still there, live, when we didn’t need to be… and I talked about the importance of F2F. But… I’ve begun to feel strongly that we should be doing more “learn globally, party locally” and do as many events/conferences/meetings virtually as we can while having meetups closer to home. No, it’s not the same, but it’s far healthier for everyone including the planet and our loved ones (and our own health), and the more we can encourage that, the better.
I participated in the Tools of Change conference in New York, for example, by going to a studio in San Jose where I was filmed being interviewed by Tim O’Reilly. This was shown on stage, as a “keynote”. I was extremely uncomfortable with this idea, and indeed some people were disappointed to realize it wasn’t a “live” person, but later… people described it as though I was there. Granted, I almost NEVER participate in the post-conference events as you do, so for me, there wasn’t that much difference. But I believe you may be overestimating the need for those other things. As fulfilling as they may be for you — and for others — I don’t believe they are *requirements* for getting your message out there and making an impact. I’d put them in the incredibly-nice-to-have but not absolutely necessary.
I believe, deeply, that as leaders in this space it is *us* who should be leading the move away from getting on planes to pushing ever harder for tech/tools and cultural shifts that will make F2F less a requirement *for some events*. Again, it’s learn/teach/influence globally, meet-up locally. We need F2F — but we’re sacrificing F2F with our own families and local community in favor of being live with conference attendees. There’s something wrong with that logic, and I’ve done a 180 on justifying it.
Consider the math when you talk your own energy/brain space. The overhead involved in travel is tremendous. Consider what you *could* be doing with all that extra time and space. We really really need to be pushing for tools that will reduce the need for this globally. Perhaps it’s better, richer video conferencing combined with *teaching other people* to do some of the in-person delivery on our behalf. In other words, bring a dozen people from far-flung locations to YOU, once, for a whuffie boot-camp and then let them go do in-person delivery where their travel is short.
You getting on a plane is not scalable. You know that. Even if it weren’t a severe problem for the planet and a severe dent in your own life, it does not make logical sense if you are trying to make the biggest impact. The model of “live conference speaking engagements as means to impact” predates all our modern tech and needs a stake through its unsustainable heart.
And I agree with the comments of Mac and Bill, too. Especially love this quote from Bill: “… if forced to choose I would go with love. I wonder, though, if real greatness isn’t informed by love, thus making love the better choice.”
Kathy,
Your story is one of hope…but I love what I do. I really do. I love it to my very essence. And I have my son and my dog and I just don’t feel like I’m missing much of anything at all.
In regards to the travel, I will someday stop being such an awful glut on the earth (and my health) but right now it is my sole income stream. I may be powerful enough someday to get paid for presenting and not have to be there, but right now, any conference I suggest it to finds a replacement speaker and then I can’t pay the rent. Hopefully my startup will be funded someday, but I want to do that right…so I keep traveling….for now. But when I am working on my startup, it will be my new boyfriend/lover/husband, so even with less travel, I won’t be looking for love.
T
@bill
I love that quote, too:
“… if forced to choose I would go with love. I wonder, though, if real greatness isn’t informed by love, thus making love the better choice.”
And what I see as greatness IS informed by love. But it’s a different definition of love. It’s not love of a small family unit or one man…it’s love of my world, my community, my friends and a better future. It’s FULL of love and greatly informed by love, just not love as in lover (which is what I’m referring to in the post).
Tara,
OK, the income part makes sense. And it’s going to take time for things to shift and in the meantime, you, your son, and Ridley have to eat. Side note: at least *your* pet doesn’t weigh 1,000 pounds
I’m just saying that travel/in-person presentations are not as tightly-coupled to “having an impact” as we may think. Now, if it’s about earning your living, that’s a different issue and a non-trivial one when you’re responsible for more than just yourself.
The advice I gave myself many years’ ago was to work on finding another way to earn a living. (My first job at Sun was 50% travel. I told my managers it was not really possible without a stay-at-home-spouse, and when I left that job my outgoing manager (pre-dot-com-bust) seriously considered whether providing that might be a better perk for reducing turnover than, say, stock options and Aerons… )
I am 100% convinced you will eventually find a way to keep doing what you love, and earn a living, while traveling less. You’re the only person I know who actually–and I’m not saying this metaphorically–”glows” in person. First time I met you I was on a stage looking at 1500 people and you were a little light source sitting there in the audience. Some of that glow comes through even when you’re on video. If there is anyone in this field who can have a “presence” rendered in bits vs. atoms, it’s you.
First of all, I honor your path, and I am glad that I have discovered your writing. It takes courage to put yourself out there, and courage is required for greatness. Or finding love. And if you ever want both…
But not being great…I am just speculating.
As for your question, I find it fascinating, and yet I hope it is a false dichotomy. It is quite possible that you just haven’t found love yet, and your career will lead you there.
But I wonder when you ask the question if you are really stating, “I am pursuing greatness, but I have stopped pursuing love… for now.” We think we know Earhart and Hepburn (and even Oprah). We think they chose greatness over love, but we don’t really know them. I wonder what Earhart’s blogs would look like?
I would also like to see more blogs by men who have asked the same question that you asked? My guess: men don’t ask the question, because we have learned to place career ahead of family… or we learn that career success = family. Not sure career success equals long term fulfilment. Sounds like a recipe for loneliness and depression.
I would rather end up like Joan of Arc.
Good luck finding both. It must be possible.
Love versus greatness… you could have postulated something simple… like strawberry versus vanilla ice cream – but no.
My experience over 60 years is… this question really rests on the answer to time versus money or both.
Consider… if you were born Queen or King, would you be concerned about being great? No.
It’s only those who want to make their mark that are even contemplate… becoming great.
Then, there others, who never strive for greatness… they just keep moving forward as different challenges arise. It’s other people who determine and define… if our achievements merit ‘greatness.’ Not us.
Me, I’m just attempting to be the best grand-father I can be. But only time will tell.
This kind of reminds me of conversation over coffee with a friend, slightly down on her luck. She told me she would like to become a life coach. I asked her…”If I were a customer, and I told you that I had climbed Mt. Everest two years ago, last year I had descended to the bottom of the Challenger Deep… and this year…I am bored. What would you advise me?”
I received a blank look.
What I’m saying… is you won’t know until you try.
I believe in synergy and that all things can be better when properly balanced. I also have come to believe though that it’s ok to misstep a time or two (or three…) when it comes to relationships (or business for that matter). The right balance is out there and it will be synergistic and you will know it only when you are deep in the heart of it.
Well every time women has to do sacrifice for their love,family or relations and for that they need to leave their passion for work and all.But then also i will choose love.Ne ways thanks for sharing such a wonderful post.
Tara, I’m still not sure what you mean by “greatness.” If not business success, do you mean being great at something that will win you the admiration of large numbers of people?
I’m sure you didn’t mean it that way, but when you said that choosing what you call the “love” path brings one “amazing connectedness to one person (and potentially a few little people),” it almost sounds like a freudian slip, like all you get is the love of a few “little” people, as in nobodies, as opposed to if you choose “greatness” then you get the love and admiration of other “great” and influential people as well.
That said, I believe you were talking about children when you said “little people”
The point I’m trying to make is that yes, devoting one’s energies to the intimate sphere is not valued much by our society, but that doesn’t make it any less great, provided the person (most likely a woman) doing it is following her own true path, just as you are following yours.
I think any woman that has the slightest bit of ambition in a non-familiar sphere has angsted about the idea of having to choose between love and pursuing their passion and calling.
It’s sad that so many of us feel forced to choose between the two.
I strongly believe that love and greatness are not mutually exclusive. Who says love has to look a certain way, like being a stay at home mom and doing crosswords by the fire with your husband? Why does that have to be the only “normal?”
There’s room for all kinds of normal, including yours. True love is about people honoring each other for who they really are.
I hope this made some sense. I wrote it with a 3-year old underfoot. LOL
Oh, and Kathy, thank you for giving a name to the idea “learn/teach/influence globally, meet-up locally.” I’ve had an incohate yearning to be able to do this all my life and am thrilled now that technology is making it possible.
A lot of women just get bored with their families and/or husbands after a while. In order to quit them, they need an excuse – a justification. So they make up rubbish about being held back in their quest for greatness. Bollocks. Most are no “greater” after abandoning their husband and/or family. Plenty of women achieved greatness “despite” having children and/or being married.