Last night while on a panel at the Social Media Club gathering, I went on a bit of a rant about soup. Soup? Yes. Soup.
Soup Metrics, as coined by John Hagel (Net Gain/Net Worth) after our panel here:
…is in reference to the number of people in your network that will bring you soup when you are sick. The question I asked the audience was, “How many of you have been single and so sick you couldn’t get out of bed?” A bunch of hands went up. Then I asked, “And how many of you have been in that situation without anyone offering to bring you soup?” Heads nodded. Yep. Many of us have been there. It sucks. I’ve had that moment and realized that, even though I have tons of friends, I had no really close friends that would voluntarily bring over a bowl of soup when they knew I was sick. And even worse, this soup metaphor seemed to extend into all parts of my life. Who really has my back?
There is a misconception that there is some sort of delineation between your close-knit friends and those who are in your business network. I believe this is the result of extending the concept of bonded and bridged social ties that was first distinguished by Robert Putnum and more recently extended and discussed in business concepts by people like Ronald Burt. Though I see value in both building close (bonded) ties with people while extending the reach of your network and expanding your loose (bridged) ties, I am perplexed by the notion of dismissing the power of those connections closest to you.
You see…as I’ve experienced online communities, the same people who would bring me soup voluntarily when I’ve been sick have also been instrumental in moving my career forward. These are the people who will go to bat for me no matter what. I need these people ESPECIALLY during times like these: an economic downturn. As the number of people who would bring me soup when I am sick grows, so does my career, business and ability to accomplish really great things. Of course, all my close bonds have to start somewhere. They come to me through the looser ties and slowly grow more bonded. However, if I only concentrated on branching out and failed to build and grow deep, strong connections, I wouldn’t get very far at all.
Therefore, the soup metric is the number of people in your social network that you know would bring you soup if they knew you were sick and/or get your back in any other real friend way – to help you feel better OR help your career. Of course I should add that the soup metric has to be reciprocal to work: the soup offer has to work both ways.
This number is the only metric I, personally, give a damn about. It’s the core of whuffie IMO.
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p.s. I should also note and give a big hat tip to Alistair Croll here, someone who quickly moved from my extended network (introduced by Sean Power whom I met through Austin Hill whom I met through a chance blog encounter because of Jeff Howe) to the soup circle in a very short amount of time. We had a conversation while planting a vineyard together where he expressed his viewpoint on the importance of business relationships being close ties. Without his astute observations on this, there would be no soup metric. 
April 23rd, 2009 at 1:45 am
This is a great thought.
I have been ill a few weeks ago and stopped reading my feeds, etc.
I realized after a few days that 85% are redundant, doubling, hyperactive, just surfacing, just funny, not adding to relevant experiences, etc.
The only person I could count on to ‘feed’ me was my girl friend – with chicken soup.
A few days later I was able to return the favor.
April 23rd, 2009 at 4:52 am
The Soup Metric is an interesting concept, but it applies to personal social networks (whether online or real world). Some of those connections may bridge to the professional world (colleagues you keep in touch with and they then grow into friends), but the soup metric applies to people who know you personally and may include colleagues you consider to be friends first.
Another metric could be the Hire Metric and that would apply to professional colleagues. A professional colleague that would hire you or strongly refer you for a project or position would count for your Hire Metric.
You may have a great professional relationship with a colleague you exchange ideas with, learn from and refer business to. The Hire Metric would definitely apply to this colleague, but the Soup Metric wouldn’t, unless you became personal friends.
I’ve had some great professional contacts over the years and I’ve benefited greatly by knowing them. If they brought me soup, it would cross a line. I know these colleagues would hire me given the opportunity.
April 23rd, 2009 at 5:05 am
I might not be close enough to bring you soup, but I’d certainly fly down to help you plant a vineyard. Just saying.
April 23rd, 2009 at 6:44 am
How is Intuit measuring you?
How are you balancing their corporately influenced metrics with the more personal Whuffie factors you cite in the post?
April 23rd, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Tara,
I could not agree more! The true measure of the people in your life that you can trust are those that are willing to go above and beyond for you. I have also been noticing the same phenomenon that you mention. The more true “soup” friends that I acquire, the more my network, reputation and business have grown. You are also very correct that it must be a reciprocal relationship. The more people I am willing to “bring soup”, the more there are that are willing to take care of me. Thanks for the reminders of the importance of being that kind of friend!
April 25th, 2009 at 3:40 am
I love the metaphor, so on target and something to think about.
April 27th, 2009 at 2:32 am
Great concept – my husband and I have our own version which we discuss for fun, but it has a deeper meaning – “if you lived in a small community and had to select the residents, who would you choose?” The choices you make might afford some surprises – who I could live with might not always be my best friends. Ultimately, for me it comes down to shared values and this can make people who are on the periphery of your life contenders for places in your village. The village matrix.
April 28th, 2009 at 10:48 am
I loved loved loved this post! I have been trying to explain this type of community relationships for some time, and have never been able to put it so elagantly and so touching!
I couldn’t agree with you more! In my more limited time of exposure to the internet and to developing an online community, I have genuinely focused on building meaningful relationships with all of the people who I would want to work with. It’s so important for them to not only “bring me soup” but to also be an associate or friend based on who I am as a person. I’m not necessarily censored for the status quo. It’s a really important factor in this adventure we are. Live my life fully each and everyday, regardless of where I may find myself.
Regardless of the location or group of people, I am always able to connect with somebody that not only would bring me soup but build an amazing working relationship with.
I’m hoping to get to the SF word camp, I just attended my first one here in reno! I read your author profile.
hope to make it to your presentation.
wishing you a magical and wonderful day
georgette
April 28th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Thanks, Great Content!
April 29th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
I love your analogy- the soup metric usually applies more to my personal connections then business ones, more for geographic reasons. I have to say, though, I’m always impressed by the number of social networking friends and acquaintances who would go above and beyond in a heartbeat if need be.
May 4th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
Thanks for the great recap! Sounds like it was an amazing event.
May 7th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
The soup metrics sounds good initially but you cannot really categorize people simply based on the idea that if they don’t bring you a soup than they are not worthy of your friendship/relationship. I would suggest to everyone that the next time you become ill, take a look at who does not bring you soup and search to see why that is so and what you can do to change that. Imagine how great you will feel when after a while that person suddenly will bring you a soup.
May 14th, 2009 at 1:49 am
I love the analogy. Soup, because it’s good for you. And two-way soup-sharing, for the relationship to work. And as far as I know, in business, unless it’s two-way, the relationship will not last the course anyway. The challenge: to find your tribe first, before you can get into soup-exchanges.
May 19th, 2009 at 8:15 am
Just the other day, I was saying how I am “totally over social networking” and the like b/c there is so much gimmicky stuff out there. So many bloggers want to break it down to the top ten steps toward being rich and famous on the internet, and I just can’t do that formulaic thing. I really appreciate your personable approach and the idea that networking can (and should) actually have substance! Right now, yours is the only blog on blogging/networking that I still read.
May 20th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
Love the analogy. Here’s a twist on soup metrics. Who has “Refrigerator Rights” in your home? How many people would you allow to come into your home and feel so comfortable that they could open the refrigerator and help themselves to anything they wanted? In my home, everyone who enters the door gets “Refrigerator Rights.” The first time you visit, we’ll treat you as a guest and show you around. After that, your family and can help yourself. We’ll still offer to help and we’ll say, “You don’t need to ask. Help yourself!”
I see social media and our relationship similar. In the business world, I used to keep my co-workers at a distance. I didn’t like them. Now it’s different. If I don’t like them, why work with them. The online relationships I’ve made are rich, very rich! Some of the best people around that would jump to help me if I asked. And, I would jump to help them if they asked me.
So Refrigerator Rights and Soup Metrics are on target as analogies for relationships. Got Whuffie? Share!
May 20th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
@jeffhurt
LOVE the Refrigerator Rights analogy! It’s totally true…cause you have to invite someone in the first place. Nice.
May 20th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
Fabulously rich concept! Thanks for sharing The Soup Metric. It makes us aware that social comfort warms our body (health), mind (career) and spirit (happiness).
The significance of non-familial and non-marital connections is something that singles can teach the coupled world. In relationships people tend to rely on their partners to fulfill all their needs rather than valuing receiving soup and support from people in their extended networks.
Tara – keep passing the soup!