How I solve this problem is called: THE credit card game.
If everybody is wining about not splitting the bill equally (or nobody has sold their company lately) I suggest to put everybodies credit card into a hat and let the waitress pick one card who pays for all!
It is very exciting (as you probably can imagine).
But there is a way out, as not all people are risk seekers/entrepreneurs, every one can ‘buy’ oneself out for the average price of the bill plus a small “chicken out” premium of lets say 2 euros (hey I’m Dutch, we have euros).

The funny thing is that a lot of people finally will agree to put it the average price plus the premium although they didn’t agree with splitting the bill in the first place. Some people stay in the game for the fun and excitement of it, the others who chickened out are watching the ‘ceremony’ with the waitress picking one card and have fun as well.

This is a win-win-win situation. The people who chickened out feel winners because they paid their part, had a great evening and didn’t lose the game, the people who put in there credit card and won the game win for obvious reasons (they had a free dinner which made their evening) and the loser is a winner because he/she has a story to tell (its bloggable)!

And the poorer I am, the better this works out. THere is nothing like shaming some MoneyBags pennypincher by having the working class girl at the table pay the bill.

When they protest, I say, “I’m sure you’ll treat us all next time.” Sort of an evil Miss Manners maneuver. It probably doesn’t do any good to reform the real moochers, but at least it allows me to not sit thru the agony of bill-quibbling.

Sometimes I’ve been invited to an event where I belatedly realize that it’s way over my head, expense-wise. The average tab is going to be running into the high three figures for a supper, per person. Without wine.

When that’s the case, you always know you can’t afford it, well before the entree comes. So then I just have a quick drink, offer some cash to the host and say, “Oh I”m so sorry, I have to go home early. And I give them more than my drink cost, so it’s clear I’m thinking of the tip.

My favorite people to go out with are the types who take turns “paying for all of it.” It’s a very romantic gesture, it allows you to spoil your friends and be spoiled in return.

In Japan, birthday girl never pays, and everything is always split evenly. Sometimes frustrating, but I really prefer it to the bill dilemma turned blog post.

First, it is a cultural thing again. Paying for the host on a birthday is not usual over here, but the other way round. Walking in an international environment, this has to be though about as well, it is the same with tipping for example.

Second about the cheapish person who dares to stay an “individual when it is so much cooler to be the collective!!!” This is a star gazing hippie argument. Could we come down to earth please for a moment?

It is fine with me if I have a group around me which is my friends even barely friends, and to a certain degree I also do this with strangers. But my believe in Karma is not that I have to be generous to the world no questions asked. The relevant part in this is the “no questions asked” argument.

Splitting the bill for me has a very simple reason as I explained in the other comment as well – I am *never* at what the group is at. I am either much over or much under what they are having and as there is the talk of “it will equal out” – yes, in the long run and over all my dinner bills.

But if I go out with the same crowd of people the pattern with them will not change. And as I said, it can run both ways. I do not want to pay much more than I had nor do I expect anyone else to pay for me much more than they had.

And I find myself grouping up with some people as in the non wine people, or the ones having a full meal versus only some little thing.

The argument “then don’t go out” does apply here, but it needs an addition “don’t go out with those people”.

There is not just one situation, and not one solution. But out of the three, me pay /we pay and everybody pays what they had aka Stowe, the we pay does sound like dictatorship to me. Because it forces me to do something.

“You contribute to what you had and maybe even a bit more to not go into details” is much more about collective than a decision “we do all want to pay the same, right?!”.

Bottom line: Clear these things before you start ordering.

Usually also something to be done so the waiter can set up separate tabs and probably where this whole “we pay together” things comes from: Because they are to lazy to run separate bills and it makes their life much easier just to lay the burden on the guest to split it up …