Comments on: I Own my Own Words, indeed

By: Sam Rose

Sam Rose — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 19:49:35 +0000

I propose that this is the new theme song for Tara’s blog:

“Don’t you know we’ve got to put our heads together…”

By: Sherry Lewis

Sherry Lewis — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 17:44:57 +0000

Tara, you have been very brave. This deal is over. Time for everyone to heal get on with LIFE. Not virtual life for the moment, but REAL LIFE.

By: Steven

Steven — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 14:41:10 +0000

Is that a happy ending peering over the horizon? It’s a joy to see dialogue beginning to replace all the rage and retribution over this issue.
Maybe we can stop calling each other (and/or ourselves) mean kids now.
xx

By: fp

fp — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 04:15:34 +0000

As a participant on both the “bad blogs” in question I’d just like to say that calling Chris a “ringleader” rather detracts from the responsibility we all share and the sense we each have of our own agency. Chris was not a ringleader. I’m grateful he has seen fit to be a public face for us all, since I sure as hell have no interest in talking with reporters.

I was also glad to see the comments exchange between you two at the top of this thread.

By: Tara Hunt

Tara Hunt — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 02:29:48 +0000

No…please…

I mean, feel free to email me. We can have a conversation offline, if you’d like.

By: Zo

Zo — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 01:01:16 +0000

Just so you know, the Twitter line was …whatever the linguistic term, not metaphor … but not literal either. It was a line of wriring, that both finished the piece (I can’t help think like a writer, that’s what I are) and made a larger, wider point. About parentling, about overextending oneself … I suppose about boundaries, in general. And you revealed more about yourself than you know, on what I call the Thread From Hell , and it’s reasonably touching …and I oughtta shut up now. Take care.

By: miss rogue

miss rogue — Sun, 01 Apr 2007 22:27:06 +0000

No, I saw it.

I didn’t respond because, well, I made a new rule for myself. Don’t respond when you are feeling defensive. And I read that and felt defensive (especially the therapy part, but hell, after years of it for various things, I shouldn’t since I was taught that therapy isn’t for crazy people, it’s for people who want to be better people…I may be fooling myself).

I knew the truth as soon as I saw that article in the SF Chron. Seriously. My heart sank. I knew I had become a mean kid.

Probably because I was still reeling from the incident. That I had never gotten over it. That I wallowed and felt sorry for myself, using defiance as my mask or something. I take everything much too personally. I’m a Cancerian with the worst possible level of sensitivity, but I mask it with my defensiveness and defiance. And I used an interview to attack back. Not cool. Although, let it be known that I had emailed Locke directly during that incident personally. I think that’s when the swarm arrived. Shortly thereafter. Which left me feeling betrayed…but no more betrayed than Locke must have felt when I dismissed his own desire for a voice.

Well, I’m really still trying to think through this stuff myself. I thought about more posts, but I’m going to hold off until I get my head straight around them. I’m still feeling raw. I know Kathy is and no matter what anyone thinks, she reacted in her own defense, which I think she wants to take back, too. She didn’t intend to have this level of chaos occur. Perhaps those of us with heightened emotions will always have this difficulty: the instant need to defend or react. I know that I keep working on it. You’d be surprised to hear that I’m 1000x better than I used to be. Ask my Mom or any previous boyfriend. I’ve come a helluva long way. It comes with the territory of feeling empathy. I know that sounds backass, but it does.

Okay…thanks Zo. Just so you know, I’m going to keep twittering AND going to therapy.

By: Zo

Zo — Sun, 01 Apr 2007 22:06:39 +0000

Tara, I want to be up front, and immediately so … I don’t know that I sent a proper ping, being on Blogger, but one of my latest posts ended up being about you. I wrote and wrote, looking for the heart of this thing … and, correct or off the mark, that’s what was left, when all else was winnowed away. None of it is blame, that should be apparent, but what’s true seems to be the drive behind so much of my work, IRL. “Feeling like an asshole” is certainly not something I hoped to underscore, but that through our difficulties, telling the truth to ourselves and to each other … is the only way out, and through. The post is Big Stink In Little China … read it if you haven’t, and correspond if you like.
Zo

By: miss rogue

miss rogue — Sun, 01 Apr 2007 21:45:29 +0000

Thanks Zo. When I saw that printed in the SF Gate, my heart sunk and I felt like an instant asshole.

By: miss rogue

miss rogue — Sun, 01 Apr 2007 21:44:48 +0000

I read your comment on the Radar and thought it was very smart. Part of the issue during this storm has been many people who were not involved conjecturing wildly…on all sides. I don’t claim to know all of what went down. I don’t think Kathy would even know. Everyone in the situation has pieces to the puzzle.

I do believe, though, the death threats on her blog are from a different person than the sites discussed…and then there was a subsequent asshole spreading around Kathy’s SSN + address with a bunch of bogus stories. Different people, but connected by one thread:

mass attention

Everyone got it in this affair. Some were interviewed by major news stations and papers who hadn’t been involved at all. Some got it without wanting it who weren’t really involved. I hesitated posting because I didn’t want to be part of that, but posted to try and clear up some misrepresentations and make a call for civility.

Thanks for your comments.