The Consumerist makes me laugh until my stomache hurts

Seriously, check out these two recall notices:

Chicken Limbo Party Games Recalled After 23 Reports of Injuries

Hazard: The game's two side poles do not fit into their bases properly making the game unstable. This absurdly can cause the game to completely fall apart if touched, hitting children playing the game as well as bystanders.

...

Incidents/Injuries: In a case of inanity raising its loathsome head, Milton Bradley has received 46 reports of the Chicken Limbo party game collapsing unexpectedly. This includes 23 reports of injuries including bumps, bruises, welts and red marks, four reports of cuts, one chipped tooth and one fractured foot.

This is what you get for over-technologizing what should be two people and a stick.

Why is there a fucking chicken in the middle of it anyway?

And this one:

We don't usually report on US Consumer Product Safety recalls. The news feed reads like the cryptomaniacal ravings of the maternally paranoid. A typical recall might start "Huggles Q. Featherbottom dolls recalled after small child manages to plunge the torso-sized plush entirely up his own rectum. CEO of Huggles Q. Featherbottom, Inc. claims new dolls will feature an improved Anti-Rectum-Stuffing guard system." Meanwhile, when royal 'We' at the Consumerist were growing up, our royal fathers handed us Swiss Army Knives on our eighth birthdays and then sat around with his royal hands upon royal knees, chuckling, as we cut our hands to bloody ribbons fiddling with it. Boys will be boys, after all. The USCPS are bunch of pussies. But this recall of QVC Flying Saucers is too cool to not mention. A QVC radio controlled flying saucer toy, capable of actual flight while a child makes all the appropriate extraterrestrial beepings and whirring noises with his mouth, has been recalled for spontaneously erupting into flame as it circumnavigates your living room. And this defect alone makes it probably the coolest sounding toy we've ever heard of.

Okay...maybe I've been in front of the computer too long this weekend, but I find their writing style amazingly refreshing and entirely hilarious. You should really read The Consumerist.

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